Pain is My Friend
by Oceansportrait
Summary: Molly learns that the most beautiful of roses can grow in the darkest of places
1. Pain is My Friend If Only

Molly hummed a light tune as she revealed the small razor she had hidden in the heels of her shoes.

__

They thought they could take my precious items away, I always get my way…

She winced slightly when she felt the razor cut deep into her wrist. She never cut too deep, not since the last time, when she was taken to the hospital. Her secret had been revealed then, and they had tried to take what she treasured most away from her.

She watched her own crimson blood trail a river along the base of her arm. She closed her eyes, enjoying the relief it gave her, however short it was. She cut to give herself the release of the burden, of all the pain she carried within. The high only lasted a few days, in which she would repeat the process once again.

Her arms were her canvas, where her blood would be shed. The scars were a reminder, of every ache, of every hurt, that she had received and caused. On her canvas she would paint, of her lost childhood, the heart she wished she had, of the sun she wished would shine on her for a second time in what felt so long ago.

Her canvas was her savior, her only hope left in life. Her cuts made her forget, that was all she ever wanted. When she buried the razor into her flesh, she no longer saw Spike and his betrayal, her father's desertion, her own isolation…

"Molly, what's taking you so long?" Lita, the only friend she trusted, knocked on the bathroom door.

Molly looked up, the glaze over her eyes disappearing, emptiness and pain there beside to replace it. She knew she would have to hide her obsession, even Lita would take it away from her too, as did all the others. She hastily covered her wound with her long sleeves, washing away the excess blood down the drain.

She unlocked the door, opening the door to a none-too-happy Lita.

"Matt's going crazy, we have to be at the arena in twenty minutes." Lita's crimson hair, reminded Molly of her razor she had left on the counter. She backed away, hiding the razor behind her back.

"What are you hiding?" Lita asked curiously, craning her neck to try to catch a glimpse.

Molly hid it further into the back of her pocket. "It's nothing. Just a handkerchief."

Lita gazed at her suspiciously, her hazel brown eyes flashing with doubt. Molly had been acting nothing like herself ever since Spike had broken up with her abruptly. Lita wished the old Molly was back, except she didn't know how to get her to open up. Lita knew something was wrong, just not exactly what.

"Well okay…Molls, tell Matt I'll be right out." Lita said. She hadn't been planning on going to the washroom, but she wanted to make sure for herself that Molly hadn't been doing anything to hurt herself. Lita had been having suspicions for the last couple of weeks, though no evidence to support her claims.

Lita made sure Molly was safely in their van before stepping into the washroom. She gave a once-over of the small bathroom. From the corner of her eye, she caught something out of the ordinary. She squinted, nearing the small counter. She captured on one finger a drop of red. She rubbed it between her index finger and thumb.

"Blood." Lita quickly washed her hands, taking only the necessary time needed. She would confront Molly about her findings. Not tomorrow, not the week after. Now.

Matt impatiently pushed his jet black hair from his face, turning to Molly. "So Molly, how've you been?"

Molly immediately built her defenses. She tensed replying, "I didn't do anything, please don't tell anyone, I didn't do anything…"

He held his hands up, his face etched with concern for his girlfriend. "Back up Molly, I didn't accuse you of anything. I was just asking how you were. You seem a little distracted lately."

"Oh, I'm—"

The van's door slid open, Lita grabbing Molly by the arm and pulling her out of the vehicle. Molly flinched at the sudden movement. Lita had held onto the part of her arm that she had slit open with her razor.

"Molls, pull your sleeves up." Lita said, trying to sound firm although her voice wavered. Molly was her best friend, she didn't want to believe what was obvious until she saw it for herself.

"Why? No." Molly tried to return to the van, and she would have succeeded except Lita grabbed her by the arm again, causing her to stumble out.

Lita pulled up Molly's sky blue sleeves up to her elbows, gasping at the sight. Molly's arms were just a cascade of scars, some cuts looked fresh.

Lita's warm brown eyes displayed silent tears of grief. She looked up at Molly with sadness. "What have you done to yourself Molly? What's happening to my best friend?"

Lita's grasp on Molly had fallen. Molly hastily pulled down her sleeves so no scars were showing. She considered telling Lita a lie, but she knew Lita wouldn't fall for it. "Nothing. I'm not the same person that I was before Lita..I'm different now. Th-this helps me get my old self back, even if it's just for a few seconds.."

"If this is the price you have to pay to get that, then I don't want the old Molly."

"How could you say that? Everyone loved the old Molly, she was everyone's favorite sister. The new Molly is someone they despise, they desert."

"Molly, please tell me what's wrong. Please don't shut me out. I care about you, you're like the sibling I've never had, I don't want to lose that bond. Do you?" Lita held her breath for Molly's answer.

Molly's familiar amiable expression passing by before a mask was restored. Her look was stony, her face unreadable. Molly tilted her head away from Lita, mumbling, "Of course not. Except I'm fine. I don't need any help."

"Then when would you need a lending hand? When you land in the hospital? When Matt and I attend your funeral? Don't you care for anyone at all enough to stop hurting yourself? By harming yourself, can't you see that you're hurting others as well?"

"I'm sorry Lita, I'll just get another ride." Molly took out her cellphone, her razor dropped to the ground from the same pocket.

Lita picked the razor off the ground, preventing Molly from phoning. Lita sighed, this was going to be harder than she though, though she wouldn't lose hope. She'd talk to her another time. "Molly, come on. We only have a couple of minutes to get to the arena, you'll never get there on time if you get another ride."

Sensing her surrendering at least for that moment, Molly agreed.

Matt flashed both of them confused looks although he didn't ask any questions. 

She was thankful for that. But she didn't know when the silence would break, and the questions would begin.


	2. Pain is My Friend To Forget

Lita had been the first one to get out of their car, since her match against Ivory was the first match of the night. Matt and Lita would be leaving soon after Lita's match, to go see Jeff who was back in North Carolina resting, after spraining his ankle badly enough to need time off.

Lita's match had gone smoothly as planned. She slung a white towel over her shoulder, walking back to the locker room she had been assigned to with Molly and Matt. She opened the door, a questioning look in her eyes when she realized Matt and Molly were deep in conversation. Lita backed out to the hallway, opening the door ajar, knocking lightly.

Matt and Molly's whispers abruptly stopped, both heads turning in Lita's direction.

Lita shifted uneasily, fiddling with her towel. She hadn't heard any of their conversation, but she didn't want Matt and Molly to think she had been spying. "Guys? Matt, are we still going to go see Jeff?"

Matt jumped up from the black leather couch, leaning down to kiss Molly's cheek. He picked up his sports bag, which was filled with clothes and the necessities, needed for the two-day trip. "I'm ready if you are."

"Great." Lita flashed him a smile. When it came to say goodbye to Molly, her grin had all but evaporated.

"I'll see you in two days Molly." Lita told Molly, an underlying meaning in her sentence, emphasizing the 'two days'.

Molly nodded a kind of sorrow in her eyes as if she had just lost her best friend. "Bye Lita."

Matt noticed the tension, except he didn't want to interfere in what wasn't his business. He nudged Lita to head out the door. "Take care Molly."

She didn't answer, turning her attentions back to the television that had been set to mute.

Matt closed the door, giving a side-glance towards Lita. "What was that all about?"

Lita shrugged, trying to put up a confused façade as if she really didn't have any idea what Matt was referring to. "I'm not really sure myself."

********

Molly strolled up the dark corridor stairs leading to the backstage, which lead to the ramp. She stepped back to barely miss the muscular trio of wrestlers walking past. She acknowledged the nWo's presence.

"Hi Xpac."

The others in the room seemed to freeze, like she had just made the wrong move. Xpac folded his arms, ignoring Molly as he walked by. Kevin Nash and Scott Hall followed behind their leader, Kevin Nash limping because of his strained leg, Scott Hall having a permanent smirk on his face, a toothpick in his mouth.

Kevin Nash sneered, his expression soon changing to one of surprise when he realized Xpac would be walking by without stating a smart remark. "Boss.." He tried to run to catch up with Xpac, though his leg caused him to fall a step behind.

Scott Hall flicked his toothpick to Molly Holly's direction, the toothpick harmlessly brushing past her cheek and onto the cement floor.

A stagehand nervously approached Molly after the nWo had left. "Ms. Molly? Your match is in a few minutes, please be set to walk out the curtains."

She shook off her encounter, slipping into her role, walking down the ramp to her theme music. It was surprising how the image she portrayed on the show was much like how she acted in the past… before her change. Her outfit consisted of her 'Mighty' Molly superhero gimmick, everything perfect right down to her pink cape, just one of the clothing used to hide her scars.

On her lower arm and wrist she wore a pink wristband which could have been more than likely mistaken for a glove because of its length. The scars were nearly concealed, except a few managed to peek out as she waited in the ring for her opponent.

Molly smiled and waved at the cheering fans. She unclasped her long cape, throwing it to the corner when she heard Ivory's music begin. She waited until Ivory had gotten into the ring and was facing her. Her role was to be "100% pure"; meaning she wouldn't be able to take any cheap shots at anyone at anytime. Ivory ran towards Molly, locking hands.

Molly twisted Ivory's arm to her back. Ivory quickly reversed the move, clotheslining Molly roughly to the ground. She gasped for breath, crawling to the ropes leaning her shoulders on the ropes. Ivory knelt her knees on Molly's back, the ropes digging into Molly's neck. She welcomed the fresh air that came after Ivory backed away, the referee stopping Ivory.

No sooner had she gotten to her feet, Ivory flung her towards the ropes for a clothesline, except Molly made a desperate maneuver, a neck breaker. Molly wasn't even sure where she got the might to make it over to where Ivory lay, but she did, resting an arm over Ivory.

The referee began a three count. Molly looked up in confusion when the fans started giving negative responses. What was going on? Had her fans caught sight of her unhappiness too?

Her questions were abruptly answered with the form of a sharp kick to her lower midback. Molly clutched her back in pain, trying to hold back the tears that threatened to fall. She raised her gaze to find herself in the ring with the nWo.

It was Xpac who had given the blow to the small of her back. He seemed to move back as to give chance for Kevin Nash and Scott Hall to give their beating.

Nash grabbed her by the hair, giving her a powerful power bomb.

Molly began to see two of all images; the fan's reactions became just a massive blur. She felt someone lift her off the ground. A man with black hair smirked, tapping her on the cheek. "Don't go to sleep cause we haven't even started yet."

She wasn't able to escape; she didn't even have enough strength to keep her eyes open as Scott Hall performed a DDT.

"Why…?" She whispered hoarsely.

Xpac held her by the hair, lifting her head so that she looked up at him. "You think I suck don't you? Just walking around saying 'Hi Xpac'. Who the hell do you think you are?"

Molly understood suddenly what Xpac meant as if pieces of a puzzle finally solved. He felt lonely, and the only way he could forget about that pain was to take it out on others, Molly could see it clear as day in his eyes. She had been down that road before; she was on that road still. If she could help out in any way to get him to put out of his mind that sorrow, then she would. Her way of erasing her pain was by cutting; his was by beating others.

To Forget.

Molly's eyes glimmered with understanding and knowledge deep beyond her years. No tears glistened in her eyes, her eyes opening the door to what her life was like. "Xpac, if this is how you deal with pain, then go ahead, I promise I won't tell your friends."

Xpac's hold on her slacked, vulnerability showing in his eyes that hadn't been there before.

"Xpac do this, if it makes you forget, I'll deal with the pain afterwards. I could handle it probably more than you could."

Xpac tensed. He didn't know how Molly had gotten under his skin, but she had. It was as if she could relate; though he knew she couldn't. He could feel Nash and Hall telling him to execute his finishing move on her.

He pushed her to the ground, walking over her, getting out of the ring.

Nash glanced once at Molly, then back at Xpac. He started to once again finish the beating that they had begun as a team. He came to a stop when Xpac held him back.

"Enough. She's just a kid. We have better things to do." Xpac signaled for Hall to follow also.

Hall commenced to trail Xpac and Nash, turning back halfway, halting long enough to spit on Molly.

The saliva trailed along her cheek, along the base of her neck. The referee helped Molly get up, asking if she was all right.

All she managed to do was nod, rolling out of the ring, holding her arm which had received most of the force of the DDT, walked up the ramp.


	3. Pain is My Friend Crimson Rose

"Boss what was that all about? We have a reputation to keep, we don't go around whimping others off because they're a girl!" Kevin Nash threw a chair angrily across the room, his face one of irritation.

Xpac cursed under his breath, sitting down on the couch provided for in their locker room. "I've been thinking about this and I came to a conclusion." 

Scott Hall broke his silence, his piercing stare burning into Xpac's back. "This better be good, if it ain't then maybe you don't have what it takes to be the leader of the nWo….XPAC."

Xpac knew that his teammates were serious. Ever since he had joined the group, Hall and Nash had always entitled him as "boss", never calling him by his real name. Should he voice his opinion and risk everything he had accomplished from being mid-roster to the top of the main roster?

"Molly Holly should join the nWo." Xpac stated.

"You can't be serious!" Nash exploded.

Nash looked furious, Xpac had finally gone over the edge. And only a few weeks after joining the nWo no less.

"Before you beat me straight to the hospital, listen to this. Molly, she's tough for a chick." Xpac thought up of possibilites as to why he would want Molly to join. In reality, he only wanted her to be part of the team because she caught sight of when he was at his weakest. She could use that against him and the nWo. And he wasn't willing to let that happen, not after being out of the WWF for months after a career threatening injury.

"She was crying Niagra Falls out in the ring." Nash snorted.

"She's still pretty strong. She's got inside sources too; we could get her to go snooping around old man Vince to see what he's got up his sleeve. She'll help us cause more destruction than what we could accomplish on our own."

Scott Hall rubbed his chin, deep in thought. "That might actually not be a bad idea. How do you know if she'll be trustworthy to the team? We don't want a rat letting in her little buddies over this."

Xpac smirked cruelly, his old personality shining through. "Molly's just a doormat for every one to step on. It won't take us much to convince her to keep her mouth shut."

Some of Nash's anger had lessened, as he actually thought of the idea. He caved in at last, the selfishness of wanting to put Vince out of business stronger than his hate for ones weaker than him. "She better bring something good to us."

"Don't worry Nash, I've got it all worked out."

*****

Molly Holly gently swatted off the hands of the paramedics that wanted to make sure she didn't have a concussion. She felt fine, except for the deep longingness inside for her razor.

She waved the paramedics away, locking her locker room door for good measure, to make sure no one came walking in by accident and discovered what she was up to.

She went over to the clothes that she had worn the day before that lay in a pile on the couch. She found her jeans, digging through the pockets. Molly became frantic when she realized, her razor was no longer where she had put it. She tried to think back to when she had last used it, though it was no use. The razor was gone.

Her hands began to tremble slightly, her thoughts in scrambles before her. She needed something sharp…but where would she find it? She entered her small bathroom, she opened all the doors and cabinets inside, finding all of them were empty.

She saw out of the corner of her eye her own reflection, causing her to standstill. Her previous razor had been from a broken glass. The mirror could be…

Molly touched the smooth surface of the mirror, her own reflection looking back at her with one of wonder. Should she try to get a fragment of the mirror? Would the others hear the commotion and come running?

She rested her hand on the center of the mirror. Molly could already feel the relief radiating from her hand and into her heart. No matter what the costs, she knew she needed that easing of pain.

__

Just like Xpac needed his, Molly thought as she smashed her hand onto the mirror, the jagged pieces flying in all directions.

She felt the tiny shards piercing into the palm of her hand. Welts of blood began to form, each crimson red drop falling into the sink, leaving only a trace before it disappeared down the drain. Molly wiped her hand on the side of her shirt, leaving a dark stain of fingerprints caused by her own flesh.

Molly knelt down to the ground, more glass shattering beneath her knees. She ignored the stinging of the debris nestling into her bare feet. She went through all the pieces, finding the perfect razor near the edge of the door of the bathroom.

Reaching for it, she coiled back in fear when she heard her locker room door open. She had no time to regain her composure before the figure was facing her. Seeing her blood, the glass, her scars.

*****

Xpac stood outside of Molly's locker room, reluctance filling his mind. He had come off as confident in front of Nash and Hall, but when he was actually outside, ready to offer Molly an proposal she couldn't refuse, he felt uncertain of how what her reaction would be.

His fogged thoughts cleared when he heard the faint, though distinct sound of breaking of glass. He reached for the door, turning the knob. Locked. He shrugged, he figured, since it was Molly, she couldn't possibly be doing anything unlawful that he would be surprised about. Nothing shocked him anymore, why would anything be, when he was no longer scared of death.

He revealed a small paper clip hidden beneath his taped arms. Unfolding the metal, he slid it into the crook of the lock. He jimmied it, listening for the click of the lock unlocking. He stepped back with satisfaction after hearing the door unlock. He turned the doorknob, opening the door..

TBC.


	4. Pain is My Friend Abuse, AssaultBetray

"What the hell are you doing Molly?" The unchanging face Xpac had managed to set crumbling before him as he saw Molly on the ground, her hands clasped together, her blood mingling with the carpet floor.

Molly's voice faltered. "I..I must have lost my hand on my vase, it shattered." Even to her own ears her statement sounded nothing reassuring.

Xpac felt doubtful, there wasn't a way in which a vase could have shattered with so little fragments. Though he couldn't figure out a reason as to why Molly would feel the need to lie. Then again, no one told him the truth to his face, only lies. His face hardened, his cool demeanor returning. "If you say so. I came here to make a preposition."

"A..a preposition?" She mentally slapped herself for stumbling her words, though mind numbing relief came to her quicker.

"Join the nWo." Xpac said, more of a demand than a suggestion.

"I'm sorry..what?" Her eyes widened, her blue eyes lighting up with suspicion. The nWo had given her a sound beating no more than hours before. Why would they ask her to join?

"The nWo."

"Why?" Molly asked, her curiosity getting the best of her.

"What's with the twenty questions? It's either you join or you don't." It was clear Xpac was becoming more irritated by her presence. What had caused him to be so uncomfortable around her? She was no different than the other victims his group had beaten to the ground.

Molly ran through the option through her mind, deciding to gently explain why she couldn't possibly become a member. "I'd..I'd like that."

Xpac raised his eyebrow in silent astonishment. He had expected Molly's reaction to be one of disgust, of hatred. He had never expected her to join willingly. He didn't know Molly as much as he had expected to.

Molly's face mirrored his reaction. She hadn't meant to say what she did, though if she took back her agreement now, would she get a worse punishment from the nWo?

__

You want to feel like you belong. You didn't agree by mistake.

She was looking for her place in the world, and if it wasn't with Matt and Lita, maybe it was with the nWo. She wouldn't know until she found out. She had nothing to lose, all that she valued were shattered in the past, including her hopes, her dreams….her heart.

Molly took a deep breath, before exhaling. "So what do I have to do?"

~~~~~~~~~~~

Xpac had lead her back to his teams' locker room. It was becoming clear that Nash and Hall weren't going to welcome Molly with open arms, the quite opposite in fact.

Nash and Hall had their arm crossed, a distrusting look in their eyes as they fixed their gaze on Molly. They were silent, the only odd glance towards Xpac the only movement they made.

Molly wasn't easily intimidated, though their unnerving stare caused her to firmly fasten her eyes onto the floor, the carpet suddenly becoming the most important item to view.

Xpac broke the silence, "You were asking what you have to do to be one of us. Nash, Hall and I have talked about it." He nodded over to Nash and Hall who returned his gesture. "We want you to work as an undercover person. Picking up facts that would come useful."

Molly shrank back. Her cousins had always taught her to face up to problems straight on, hiding around and blackmailing your way in was a coward's way out. She took a shaky breath inwards, there was no turning back now. If she lead the life she did, she would surely end up dead, not living to see past 26.

"How?" She whispered.

Xpac opened his mouth to reply, but cut short by Nash.

"First, I think she should prove her loyalty to the group. I'm not going to lay everything we've gained lately on her shoulder's if she's going to turn her back and go back to her loser cousins."

Her anger got the best of her, she raised her arm, spitting, "My cousins are not losers! They've probably won more champion belts in the last three years than you have in your whole career!"

Nash caught her arm in mid-air, snickering, "Have to give you credit boss, she has spunk."

Molly glared at him, jerking her arm from his grasp.

Xpac backed Molly away from Nash. "Nash, enough with the jokes. Except I think Nash has a point. Proving your trustworthiness might help you out in the long run. On RAW."

"By doing what?"

"You don't have to do much. All you have to do is help us batter your cousin Hardcore Holly."

TBC….


	5. Pain is My Friend Just Emotions, Nothin...

"Mighty Molly, welcome welcome! JR move over so that this lovely superhero can sit down!" King said excitedly, unfolding a metal chair for Molly to sit on.

She tilted her chin in a nodding gesture, lifting her cape behind her so it flowed on the back of the chair as she sat.

"Well ladies and gentlemen we have a treat for you on RAW, Miss Molly will be our guest commentator tonight."

She heard the roar of approval. She would miss the fan's backing her up, though she knew it wouldn't have been enough to make her stay the way she was.

"You mean MIGHTY Molly." King corrected JR.

"Oh brother." JR rolled his eyes, getting back into focus when the bell rang for the match to begin.

The match consisted of Nash going against her cousin Hardcore Holly. Hardcore Holly had all but disconnected her ties with the family when she had joined Hurricane's "superhero" team. They got into an argument, Holly telling her she had finally gone over the deep end for joining up with someone who actually believed he was a real life superhero. Even after all the words exchanged, he was still family. What she was going to do, was going to break the fine thread that was left of the link.

Xpac interfered in the match midway, a backward spinning heel kick sending Hardcore Holly flying to the ring post. 

She could hear her heart pounding, the sound ringing in her ears. She shifted in her seat, both hands clutching the sides of the chair so tightly her knuckles began to turn a slight shade of white.

__

This is it Molly, don't let yourself, or the others down.

Molly saw Xpac glancing her way, grabbing Hardcore by the arm into the middle of the ring, hooking his arms to Hardcore's. The hold made Hardcore defenseless to any attacks that may come his way.

She held her breath, before exhaling in one fluid motion. She forced herself to stand from the chair, heading towards the edge of the ring with confidence on her face that she didn't feel inside. 

She could see in her cousin's face, that he thought the nWo were going to hurt Molly after they had hurt him.

"Stay away Molly, run!" She heard him yell, struggling to be released from the hold.

"Now or never Molly, you're either in, or you're out. Your choice."

The words Xpac uttered seemingly made Hardcore aware that the members were not going to hurt Molly, she was one of them.

Holly's face changed from fear to surprise to pain in a span of seconds. The pain wasn't from physical pain, it ran much deeper. A conflict was one thing, but betrayal…..

She raised her hand above her head, the flat palm of her hand landing on the side of her cousin's face. His face snapped to the side, his eyes showing nothing, the only slight tremor of his lips showing his emotions.

Molly looked away, no longer able to look into her cousin's eyes without feeling shame. Xpac patted her on the shoulder to show she had done her role and she was free to go. She was one of them now, no longer just drifting about in the federation, instead of the pride she thought she would have felt, she only suffered dishonor.

She didn't wait for the others to finish their beating, running backstage with one hand covering her eyes.

She watched people who used to be her friends come near her to ask why she had done what she had, though she blindly pushed them away, swinging the door to her locker room open and closing it in one movement.

Molly furiously rubbed her eyes, willing her tears to disappear. Through her now blurred vision, she saw a hint of red on the small stand beside the table. As she neared, she realized it was a small bouquet of red roses.

She picked up the rose carefully by its stem, marvelling its beauty. The more she thought about it, the more she realized, her life was like a rose. Every day that passed, another petal fell, leaving her to become less than she was the day before. She would get stepped on, somehow managing to stay alive.

__

Who is this from?

Molly traced the ribbon that was tied to the rose, halting at the edge of the card. She unfolded the small paper, reading its contents:

__

Molly – Crash told me this before, but I recognized how stupid our fight was. We're more like brother and sister than cousins, it's different without you. Forgive me? – Bob Holly

Her hold on the rose left, causing the red flower to fall to the carpet ground unharmed.

With shaking hands, she picked the flower inches from the ground, flinging it under the couch so she no longer saw its accusing glare.

She dug into her bag, her hand quivering uncontrollably, making it more the while difficult for her to find what she was trying to locate.

She found it at the bottom of her back untouched since the last time she had made use of it. Putting it up to the light, it reflected brightly towards her.

Clutching it tightly in her hand, she went inside the bathroom, leaning over so that her arms rested on the sink. Revealing the razor's sharpness, she pulled up her sleeves, finding a place on her arm which she hadn't painted on before.

__

This time I'll paint a rose, to remind me of my past that was my future.

She finished just in time to hear the commotion going outside of her locker room, obviously her team mates.

She quickly gave a fast wash over her new painting, gazing at it like she had when she had the rose in her hands. She cradled her arm, tugging the sleeves back into place, the rose no longer seen.

__

Leave everything behind, the only sanity I have left with is within my own scars.

She found comfort in knowning the scars would not leave her, no matter how faint, or how unnoticeable it became, she would still know it would be there.

She went outside to meet up with the others.


	6. Pain is My Friend True Happiness

"Welcome to the big leagues," Scott Hall snickered at his own joke, wrapping an arm over Molly's shoulder, handing her a can of beer.

Molly took the beer disinterestedly, taking a sip, the bitter taste burning down her throat. 

Scott Hall went off, talking to Nash who nearly seemed to have enough beers for the entire WWF crew.

She stared off into space, a sense of awkwardness in her surroundings. She had never associated with anyone who drunk alcohol or drugs, and here in front of her, were those who did just that. The beer can felt surprisingly cold to her touch.

Xpac came up beside her, saying, "Molly, something wrong?"

She shook her head, hastily replying, "No, nothing." She side-glanced, curious when she saw that Xpac had neither alcohol in his hand nor did he seem drunk.

"Don't you drink?" Molly blurted out, blushing when she realized she had said the question that was on her mind out loud.

"Not since..I just don't." Xpac turned his back to her to gain back his composure, he was the leader of the team that were supposed to spread poison throughout the WWF, he couldn't let anyone see, not even Molly, a weak wall in the defense he had built around himself.

He left the room without another word, leaving Molly puzzled. She made up her mind to go try to find Xpac to find if her question was what had made him upset.

Molly walked down the halls, glancing at her former friends talking and laughing. When they saw her approaching, their expressions froze on their face, their conversation silent.

Their face told nothing, though she could almost clearly hear them screaming in their minds "why"?

Her face burned with embarrassment and anger. Embarrassment for their reaction, and anger at how they appeared to be judging her upon her actions as of late. They didn't know what she was like on the inside, how each night she lost another part of her and the only person she learned to trust was herself.

She held her head high while passing them. To show them she was happy of what she had done and she suffered no regrets.

-----------------

Molly had looked through every inch of the arena, with no sign of Xpac anywhere. She couldn't ask the others like she normally would have, they considered her now an enemy, the betrayer.

She sighed, was it worth it? To throw away whatever happiness she was able to scrape together in the WWF only to discard everything just for the likes of three men who weren't fond of her unless they were drunk?

__

Xpac's not like that, he's different.

A voice inside of her told her, an image of the weakness he had displayed momentarily in the ring coming back to the surface.

Molly pushed the arena exit open, to see if Xpac could be in the parking lot somewhere.

She stepped out to the night air, wrapping her arms around herself to fend off the wind.

She jumped when the door closed behind her. She tried to tug the door open, but found it only unlocked from the inside.

"Who are you looking for?" The voice asked.

She turned around, only to collide with Xpac. "I…I was looking for you."

"Reason."

To her, his question didn't seem to be a question at all. More like a demand. "Because, I wanted to see if you were okay. You looked pretty upset back in the locker room."

Xpac shook his head, glancing around to make sure no one was around before pulling her towards the dark alley of the arena.

"What are we doing here?" She questioned, biting back the fear that was arising her throat.

"Just shut up." He hissed, dragging her to the end of the alley.

__

Maybe I was wrong, maybe he is just like the others, please don't let it be….

Xpac pushed her against the wall; her arms pinned to the cement.

She closed her eyes, afraid to think of what might come next.

"Why are you closing your eyes?"

For the first time since he had made her go into the alley had he talked.

"Uh… I— um…" Molly shifted her eyes towards the ground, not sure what to say.

His face turned to disbelief, his hand lowering from her arm. "You can't be serious, you thought I was going to hurt you?"

"No…it's just—" Her stumbling changed to words of fury, "What was I supposed to think? You were forcing me to go in a dark alley, and you swore. I'm not stupid; I know what the world is capable of. And on top of that all my friends are turning the other way when I walk down the halls like I don't exist, I never thought-thought…"

Molly's face crumbled, tears falling for the first time since the incidents. She hadn't meant to tell him every emotion that she had felt though she knew she had to tell someone.

She became aware of the assuring hand patting her shoulder. Through her blurred vision, she was able to decipher Xpac fidgeting uncomfortably. She embraced Xpac, crying on his shoulder. At any other time she would have been humiliated for hugging a stranger but her tears overrode her senses.

Molly felt him tense when she put her arms around his neck. She thought he would pull away, to her surprise he didn't.

He hadn't returned her embrace, for his pride detained him from doing so. He didn't back away, sensing that somehow Molly needed this.

Once her tears had lessened, he gently unhooked her arms from his neck, retreating a step. He hadn't held anyone for so long, not since his mother, who might as well be dead to him.

__

/ "Mommy, what's this?" A dark haired child with curious brown eyes that always held a sign of mischief asked.

"That's a daffodil, be careful, it's alive just like we are." 

His eyes widened in surprise, he held up the back soles of his shoes to make sure he hadn't stepped on the wildflowers. "Can they live forever and ever and ever?"

"Like everything that is alive, it'll leave its body one day and fly up into the sky."

"They can fly?" He smiled at the thought.

"When you leave this earth, though it won't be for a long time, you'll be able to fly too."

The boy closed his eyes and imagined./

"You fine now?" He said gruffly.

Molly nodded silently, wiping the excess tears away.

He turned to head out of the alley, he had to recollect his mind to a place where nothing would hurt him, and the only hurt would be caused by him to others.

"Xpac?"

"What?"

"What did you want to say when we came into the alley?"

"It can wait. Be at the hotel by midnight, we're going to have a meeting with the others."

TBC…


	7. Pain is My Friend Look to the Stars for...

Molly quickly ran out of the alley, trying to find Xpac through the darkness but finding he was gone, the only sound being made was the sound of her own breathing and the wind blowing past her.

She sighed. She finally thought she had broken through the barrier that held Xpac captive, so that she could see the true self that she knew was inside of him. Though just as she saw his defenses weaken, the wall was brought back up again, this time, stronger than it was before.

She remembered being in his arms. Somehow, she felt that it was different. From the distance, she had always judged Xpac upon his status among the fans, and the members of his group, but she could see now that somehow, some way, he was unlike the others. He had a gentleness that the others didn't possess. The kindness he didn't want the others to see. Why? Why was it so difficult to just be yourself and not someone you tend to be?

Molly lifted her head to quickly survey her surroundings. She could swear she heard someone call out her name, except that was impossible, she could see no one nor the steps of their footsteps. She continued to walk, her thoughts wrapped around her like a blanket threatening to smother her.

A light hand on her shoulder caused her to jump, whirling to meet the person. She held hope. Maybe it was Xpac, coming to explain. Maybe, just maybe…

"Molly."

The voice caused her anticipation to come crashing on the cement floor, shattering to pieces. It was Matt. She couldn't believe she had forgotten that Lita and Matt were due to come back today. How was she supposed to confront this?

"Hi Matt." Molly managed to provide a weak smile that held none of the spark that she had in the past.

She nearly couldn't keep a hold his gaze. Matt's eyes held the same pain she saw in her cousin's eyes when she had betrayed him. They both had entrusted their faith in her, only to have that faith broken. Behind the pain, she could make out a faint flicker of hope, and…of love.

Molly knew what Matt's reaction would be. Disbelief, betrayal, hurt. He wouldn't believe the person he fell in love with was capable of turning everything he had given Molly, including his heart, into nothing but dust. In a way though, she wasn't the person he fell in love with. Her innocence and all the qualities she held when Matt met her had just about departed. Departed, to a place she couldn't go to.

"I thought you loved me."

Matt's words cut into her like a sharp knife in her side. A flicker, a mere shadow hiding within her soul cried out to Matt. _I do love you Matt. I still do, more than my life._ She silenced the cries.

"The old Molly was the one you loved." Her eyes seemed drained of any emotions, just a dark void where the spark should have been.

Matt dropped his bag to the ground, taking the sides of her shoulders roughly in his hands. "What are you talking about? You're still the Molly I loved. Love. Whoever you think you are now, is still a part of who you were in the past. Everything that you were before is still with you, it can't disappear into thin air!"

A solitary tear slipped from beneath Matt's eyelids, making a molten-like trail on the side of his face. Who was this empty shell that occupied Molly's body? Her physical features were still the same. The unchanged blonde hair pulled into short pigtails her facial features. But her eyes, god, her eyes. They were empty, as if someone had come along one day and had taken the life and soul from her. The eyes that only mirrored back the pain found on his face.

A sudden urge caused him to grab both her arms, pulling up her blue sweater sleeves to her elbows. The sight before him caused his eyes to widen. Molly's arms were scattered with faint scars, but one in particular caught his eye. The one that resembled a rose.

He had seen that no amount of emotion out of him could help arise anything left of her. He wiped his tear impatiently away, pushing away her arms back to her.

"Is this what you do? Huh, Molly? Do you do this to hurt yourself…or everyone who cares about you?"

Matt's sudden change in reaction surprised Molly, causing her to stutter. "W-well, n-no."

"Molly, whether you realize it or not, there are people who care about you. Including me. But if you keep pushing them away, they'll one day turn their backs on you. By hurting yourself, you are pushing them away. Pushing me away."

"If you want things to change around here, you have to start with yourself. You need help Molly, and by keeping everything inside, this is what happens. Look at your arms Molly, look at them!" Matt pulled the sleeves down once again, causing Molly to stare at her own arms.

"Is this what you want? To keep cutting until you end up in a hospital on your deathbed? Do you know what that would do to your cousins? I only arrived in the arena a couple of hours ago but I could already see the changes in Crash and Bob! They're walking around like living zombies, talking without talking, hearing without hearing."

"Do you realize you were the cause of all this Molly? Even if you didn't mean to, it was. And you can make the choice, to fix this or leave the situation as it is, causing everyone involved to be dragged down with you."

Matt's anger vanished, his eyes becoming noticeably softer. "Molly, if you ever loved me even if it was for one fleeting second in your life, do this. Fix this. Please Molly, I love you. Think about it." And with that, he picked up his bags, heading into the arena.

Molly watched Matt disappear into the arena, only after she heard the slam of the doors did she allow herself to release her emotions. Tears flowed one after another, a never-ending river. Had she caused such damage to Cousin Bob and Cousin Crash? Both of her relatives had only ever treated her as an equal despite her age. They had never showed any signs of pity, only of support.

Molly looked up at the sky with her blurred vision; the stars seemed to connect together in a mass blur. Once, when she had first joined the WWE at 19, she had stood in the parking lot just as she was now, looking up at the sky. She remembered Cousin Bob saying to her when she cried that she was confused and she hadn't known what to do, "Look in the stars, the answers are always right there, you just have to know where to look."

She searched into the sky for answers that night, and ever since had relied on the stars to lead her in the right direction.

Tonight, she looked up into the sky, but this time, it was unlike the past incidents. This time, there was just a blank space where the answer should have been.

"Oh cousin Bob, what have I done?" She whispered.

  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Note: So sorry you guys for not putting up this chapter earlier, but I went through a major writer's block the past few weeks and having a Monday and Tuesday 9am-10pm job doesn't really help in the writing process, lol. Please R&R and tell me what you think. Thanks.


	8. Pain is My Friend No One Understands

Molly wanted to see, if not talk, to her cousins before meeting up with the NWO. She knew she wouldn't be able to concentrate on whatever latest plans NWO had planned if she didn't get this to rest. She clutched a petal of the rose Cousin Bob had given her the night of her betrayal. The petal had already begun to wilt and bland in color, as if it knew such beauty lay in unworthy hands.

She knew what locker room number her cousins were staying at, that was one advantage of being in the NWO. They knew where everyone was staying in the arena, in case it called for an attack they wouldn't have to go around looking for the person.

She stood in front of the locker for what seemed like hours, though it was only minutes. She began to turn back, realizing she was a coward to face up to her cousins, when the image of Matt made her come back.

__

Oh Matt, how did you ever get mixed up in falling in love with someone like me?

Molly knew she had all but broken every piece of his heart the night she betrayed him, her cousins, the company. All that was left of Matt now was hope, and she couldn't even give him that, so it would surely disappear as the other pieces had.

Matt will recover; he was the strong one. Always so strong, stood up for her until the very last minute when he knew, the person he was standing up for had betrayed him too. Matt, the person who had been the only one who could get her to smile on a rainy day in her heart. She would be willing to do just about anything for him, but she didn't think she could do what he asked of her. He still held hope for her after everything she'd done.

__

Matt, you'll find someone better. God knows, you always were better than I was.

Molly tried to clear her thoughts from her head, swearing to herself that she wouldn't break down in front of her cousins as she knocked on the door. She heard faint muffling from inside the locker room before the door opened.

Cousin Crash had answered the door, his eyes widening considerably when he comprehended who was standing in front of their locker room. He looked at her once before craning his neck back towards the room, saying, "Bob, it's Molly."

No other words needed to be said. Bob came up beside Crash, scrutinizing her every movement. "Look what the cat dragged in." He finally said after several seconds of silence.

Molly willed herself not to flinch. She couldn't have expected them to greet her with open arms as they had countless times before. Her actions were irreversible; not something that could be taken back. "Hi Cousin Bob."

Crash looked from Bob to Molly as if expecting a verbal fight to begin, but seeing neither of them speaking, he spoke up, "Molly, come in. We were just watching the last show."

She stepped inside the familiar locker room, sitting edgily on their sofa. They watched a few matches on tv before Cousin Bob abruptly turned the tv off.

"Molly, tell me, what are you doing back here? Shouldn't you be off with your NWO buddies, backstabbing people or somethin'?"

Cousin Crash tried to stop Bob from saying the sentence, but Bob pushed Crash away, folding his arms, his gaze never leaving her.

Molly knew Cousin Bob wasn't one who would forget something like this easily, she's seen before what happened to people who turned his back on him. Her being related to him made no difference, no difference at all.

She knew this was a mistake. She had thought if she'd come back, she'd be able to slip back into the lifestyle she had grown so familiar to. Since it was after all, her life. Or was.

She got to her feet, walking towards the door. Bob hadn't moved from his spot, though now he had turned the tv back on and was watching the match. Cousin Crash sighed before getting up and meeting her at the door.

"Listen, Bob would kill me if he thought I said this to you of all people," Crash whispered. "But I know for a fact, if you come back now, he'll forgive you. He's even expecting you to come back; it's your chance Molly! Don't stay with those mean NWO guys, they aren't anything but trouble, haven't you seen the way they've been beating up everyone in sight? What makes you think they won't backstab you and do the same thing?"

Molly didn't know how to reply, so she didn't. Instead, she walked away, leaving Crash wondering if she was indeed going to come back to her old lifestyle. Her friends, even her cousins, no one supported her on her decision, they never stopped to think "Hey, maybe Molly wanted this." They seemed to think the NWO brainwashed her into their society, not the other way around.

__

Feed off the anger, and let the anger feed off you.

Didn't anyone understand? The NWO did, but they didn't seem to think it was that big of a deal, as if they saw people doing this everyday, turning away from the life they knew for a life they didn't.

She'll just have to show WWE that she could live without them, in fact, that she was HAPPY to turn away from them. And to show that she felt sick to her stomach when she thought back to the time when she was actually overjoyed to join the WWE.

She'll show them, she'll show everyone….

Maybe, just maybe then, they'll understand.

~~~~~~~~~~

Please R&R

Note: I'm on a roll, well I should be after being on a major writer's block for so long, lol. Thank you so much to the people who've reviewed this story, it means so much to me. Thank you! 


	9. Pain is My Friend Seduce a Stranger

Molly glanced down at her watch one more time before getting out of the elevator on the third floor. She reached the room number X-pac had told her to come to for the meeting. She heard muffled talking coming from inside the room, though as soon as she knocked, the talking abruptly stopped.

Nash was the one who answered the door, nodding for her to enter. He closed the door behind her, sauntering back to the chair he had been sitting on. Molly shuffled nervously, should she just find a spot to sit, or should she wait until they offered her one?

X-pac got up and brought in a chair from another room, placing the chair next to him. "You can sit here."

They were sitting around a round table with playing cards scattered on them. That must have been what they were doing before Molly had come, playing cards.

"We need more inside source than we're already getting." Hall spoke up.

She had a feeling in the bottom of her stomach that this was going to lead to something involving her and her sneaking around the WWE.

"Old man Vince is hiding things a lot better than we thought he would. But keeping everything covered is not helping our goal."

"What's your goal?" Molly asked timidly, realizing that when she had joined, she hadn't known what the NWO did in particular at all.

"To bring Vince and the company down to its knees, to get WCW from under Vince before he knows what hit him." Nash answered, taking another swig of his beer.

"We need someone to go to Vince and try to get some, any, information out of him that might prove valuable to us. Heyman is already doing some walking around to find any holes in the invisible protection shield they've got around the company. We can't attack unless we figure out their weakness."

Molly knew they were expecting her to volunteer to try to find out information, after all, she was the only person still somewhat trusted in the company, she would be able to weasel back into the company without creating a commotion. She felt sick to her stomach because she knew what they were going to ask of her.

"And you want me to go snooping around." Molly said matter-of-factly.

X-pac nodded. "You're the inside source, we need to take advantage of that. Some wrestlers are already talking about you joining the NWO, we have to move now or it'll be too late."

"Everyone knows old man Vince has got a sweet tooth when it comes to the ladies. Molly's a woman."

The three turned their glances to Molly, making her squirm uncomfortablly under the pressure. "What does me being a girl have to do with anything?"

"Makes a lot of difference," Hall smirked. "Sweet talk Vince, do a couple of things and he'll be ready to fork over the information without so much as a word of protest."

"Y-you want me to try to seduce Vince?" Molly asked in disbelief, her sky blue eyes widening at the thought of trying to make a move on someone that could have easily been old enough to be her father.

X-pac shook his head slightly, "You don't have to do much, just make it seem like you would."

She wanted to say no, that it was against every moral she had set for herself, though she knew that refusing was not an option. They would force her into it, it would be easier just to give in and quickly get it over with. She almost began shuddering at the thought of having to touch Vince.

"W-when do you want me to do that?" Her voice faltered, her lips almost quivering in fear.

"Tomorrow, the sooner the better. Talk gets around fast in the company, we can't afford to lose any time." Hall said, lighting up a cigarette.

"Will you be nearby?" She was referring to the three of them, though she was meaning specifically X-pac.

"I've got better things to do then standing around some business room looking all suspicious," Hall sneered, Nash agreeing with him.

She nodded, her fear becoming greater knowing that she was on her own if anything went wrong. With nothing else needing to be discussed in the meeting, she headed for the door, turning around when X-pac took a hold of her arm.

X-pac was standing behind her, quickly hissing under his breath, "Be at your locker room tomorrow. I'll back you up, you never know what old man Vince is capable of."

Molly smiled, it felt like a huge bolder had been lifted from her shoulders, it was good to know someone would be there to back her up.

With that, X-pac shut the door. Molly could hear laughter coming from inside the room and heard Hall saying, "Boss, you must be getting soft or something. You're wasting your time hanging around Vince's room."

She could hear that X-pac was replying, but she couldn't exactly make out what he said.

__

Tomorrow, I'll have to try to seduce the owner of WWE.

Suddenly, comprehending what her alliance had just asked of her, she felt saddened. In a way, she felt like she was heading towards execution, except the execution wasn't for her life, it was for her innocence.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Please R&R

Note: Woo 8 reviews in the past two days? You guys are spoiling me LOL. Thank you so much for the support, I'll work extra hard on the next few chapters cause now that I know that at least someone reads this story, lol. :) 


	10. Pain is My Friend New Look New Attitud...

Molly walked back and forth nervously in her locker room, wringing her hands as she waited for X-pac to arrive. Thoughts had been going through her mind at break-neck pace, so much that she probably gotten only about 3 hours of rest through the night, if at all.

She didn't know anything about seducing, she knew it involved kissing, but her naïveness held her back from knowing much more. Matt had shielded her from the horrors of the world; she hadn't even known how much he had until this moment had come.

Her head jerked up when the door knocked. Wiping her sweating hands nervously on the sides of her jeans, she went to open the door. There, instead of X-pac was a woman with bleached blonde hair with the roots showing, and lots of makeup.

"Hi, I'm Andrea." The woman said, sauntering in with her strappy heels and short skirt.

Molly looked at her in confusion. "Are you sure you have the right room?"

"You are Molly, aren't you? X-pac sent me here to.." Andrea touched Molly's hair and examined it closely. "Is your hair naturally blonde?"

"Um..yes." She replied uncomfortably, Andrea seemed to be trying her best to put Molly at ease but she only made her more nervous than she was.

"Sit down." Andrea patted the seat on the couch, already digging into her purse to find something.

Molly edged towards the seat and stiffly sat down, trying not to move as she began to put on what seemed like layers and layers of eye make up. "Isn't that enough eyeshadow?"

Andrea shook her head, "There can never be too much eyeshadow, a couple of more and you're set."

Molly closed her eyes and tried to imagine what she would have to do. What she would have to do? She didn't even know the answer to that! Should she try to talk to Mr. McMahon first, or just start kissing him instead? Should she kiss him first, then talk to him afterwards? She never thought something like this could be so difficult.

Andrea clipped her blush container closed. "Done, wait a minute." She had a bigger bag that she had brought in, digging into the bag and producing what looked like a tie up shirt and a very short skirt with a slit at the side that made it seem even shorter.

"What is this?" Molly asked, horrified that she would have to wear something so..demeaning.

"It's your outfit of course, you'll look great, go try it on." Andrea urged Molly, lightly pushing her in the direction of the bathroom.

Molly quietly closed the door behind her, locking it. She didn't want to look at the mirror but forced herself to, knowing she should at least realize what she would have to put up against. The image that looked at her gasped. Was this even her? Her face seemed to have matured years, and not necessarily for the better. Her lips were a burning red color; her lips looking seductive and taunting as if beckoning her object to reach out and kiss her.

She grabbed her hair, pulling it across her face and trying to hide the image. This wasn't her; the image staring back at her now looked more like…like a slut. A whore. Who had this woman who had walked into her life changed her into?

She hadn't even realized her hands were gripping the sides of the sink so hard that her knuckles had been turning white, she let the sink go, watching her hands shake. She hadn't felt the feeling in days, though she would have had to be a fool to expect the feeling not to come back. She felt the need for the razor and the comforting numbness that it brought along with the pain.

__

Pain is only as real as you want it to be

Molly wanted to wash all the make-up off, to make herself back to the Molly she knew again, or the closest she could. She didn't want to look older; she just wanted to look like herself. Molly Holly.

A banging on the door caused her to snap out of her stupor, setting her into action. She quickly put on the outfit, not giving a glance at herself before heading out because she knew if she had, she wouldn't have been able to go through with the plan. The make up had been bad enough, what would happen to her once the clothes were on?

She washed her clammy hands once, wiping her hand on a towel. Unlocking the door, she opened just a crack, enough to see who it was.

"Molly, you okay?" It was X-pac, and the woman was already gone, she couldn't see her behind him.

"Yes, I-I'm okay." Molly opened the door wider, stepping out.

Even X-pac himself seemed shocked at Molly's transformation. She pulled nervously at the skirt, trying to make it longer, though the only thing she accomplished in doing that was making the skirt run up higher. "You look great."

Molly shook her head gently, her hair sprayed blonde hair making a halo around her. "No I don't. Couldn't I have worn something less…revealing?"

"It won't be for long, you can get back into your normal clothes just as soon as you get the job done." X-pac told her, still in disbelief at Molly's new appearance.

She managed to walk to the door in the rickety high heels, but when she went to open the door, she felt herself falling. A pair of strong hands stopped her in time from hitting the ground. She looked up at X-pac, nervously saying, "Thanks."

The wrestlers they passed in the hallway didn't even recognize her, she could tell by the hushed whispers of, "Who's that slut that's with X-pac?"

Molly tensed when she heard the comments, X-pac patting her on the shoulder reassuringly, lightly pushing her across the hallway to Vince McMahon's room. X-pac halted a few feet away from Vince's room, telling her he'd be outside until she came back out again.

Molly bit the inside of her cheek, her breathing coming out in short gasps. She could do this. She had to do this well, the others were relying on her. Hesitating, she knocked three times on the door, stepping back to wait for an answer.

"Come in," Mr. McMahon's voice hammered into her mind, worse than any chair shot she received in the head.

She took a deep breath before going in. This was it.

This…was it.

~~~~~~~

This chapter's dedicated to my biggest PiMF fan Starfallen (And yes, "PiMF" does sound a bit odd, LOL) Keep rockin :)


	11. Pain is My Friend Beautiful Eyes

Matt paced back and forth in the locker room he shared with Lita for the upcoming show a few hours from now. It had been a day, and no sign of Molly. He had to think up a new plan, he had to get Molly back, he had to…

"Matt, sit down, you're even making _me_ nervous." Lita said, watching him.

Matt sat down momentarily, before getting back up to start walking again. He didn't have time to sit on the couch and relax. He had already seen how much the n.w.o had already influenced Molly. He had seen the way she was dressed. The others hadn't known it was she, but he'd recognize those blue eyes anywhere, even if her face were covered with layers of makeup.

He ran an impatient hand through his black hair. He could just imagine the things n.w.o must have been doing to her. HIS Molly. He had promised her a long time ago that he'd always protect her, and he wasn't about to go back on his word. N.w.o must be treating her like a whore. If only he had known what she planned to do, he would have found some way to bring her back to him…

He hadn't even notice Lita was waving her hand across his face until she called out his name several times. "Matt? Matt…MATT!"

"What?" He glared at Lita, though he immediately regretted it. He never snapped easily, Lita was only trying to help him and here he was acting like an ass. "Sorry…what were you saying?"

Lita sighed, dropping her hand from in front of his face. "I was _saying_ that you might want to know that Crash already tried to talk to Molly."

Matt froze. If Crash had talked to Molly, then why was she dressed like…

"I talked to Crash, apparently it didn't do much to Molly. He didn't say so, but I read between the lines. Matt, you've got to understand, it's going to take more than words to convince her. I don't think she's brainwashed by the n.w.o, I think she went out of her own will."

"NO! Molly would never go and betray her own family; her relatives are her life. N.w.o must have done something. Molly would never go and betray her family…or me…She's not like that, and you know it Lita!"

His blindness to the situation made Lita grab Matt's arm furiously, "Have you given a second thought that maybe, JUST maybe, that your little Molly grew up while she was away? Matt, people grow up. That's the way of life, deal with it. She might not come back to you, and that's a choice you have to respect if she doesn't."

Matt's head dropped, his shoulders heaving as for the first time he let himself go and cry. "I don't know what to do Lita, I love her. I can't live without her."

He didn't notice Lita flinch at his words; he only noticed the warm embrace that Lita enveloped him in. "It was wrong of me to say what I did. We'll get her back Matt, I give you my word…"

She looked up at the white ceiling, hoping for strength, wherever that came from.

~~~~~~~~~~~

Kevin Nash and Scott Hall were seated around a small deck table, another table beside it containing rows of beer. Nash took the cigar out of his mouth and nodded for Hall to deal the deck.

"You think she'll be okay?" Nash asked, picking up the pair of cards dealt to him.

"Who you talkin' bout?"

"Molly. I mean, she doesn't really look the type to do things like this, you really think we should have made her go through it?" Nash studied his cards, laying out a few onto the table face down.

Hall laughed. "Hell yeah I think she should have done it. What other use would she have to the n.w.o? She's just a woman, and the best way for people like her to get information is the way she's doing right now."

"Yeah, but—"

"You going to make a move or what?" Hall said sharply, referring to the card game.

"Wha—…oh yeah." Nash flipped over a card. He looked over at Hall, "Just you know, she's around the same age as my kid, and the thought of my kid having to go through that…"

"You're becoming soft like X-pac."

Nash glared at Hall. "Hell if I do. Let's just get back to the cards."

~~~~~~~~~~~

Molly kissed Vince, trying to not to shudder from disgust. It was horrible kissing Mr. McMahon, it wasn't even like kissing a person, more like a jellyfish.

She managed to ask her question amidst the kissing, and his answer horrified her more than any kiss from Mr. McMahon did.

"I don't own the WCW."

She pulled back, stifling a gasp. Her blue eyes went wide with disbelief. It just couldn't be, how could the others not know something as vital as this? Had the others purposely made her done this to humiliate her?

"I-I'm sorry I didn't quite catch what you said?" She bit on her lip, praying that his answer would be different the next time around.

"My bastard son bought WCW before I could even seal the contract." Vince looked at her strangely, suspiciously. He was beginning to suspect that she hadn't come here to just make-out with him, and she knew it. She had to get away, now. But…how?

A knock came on Vince's door, the intruder opening the door without listening for permission to. She questioned why, though her question was answered when she saw who the person was.

It was Stephanie McMahon, Vince's daughter in the flesh.

Stephanie's smile turned to one of horror, then of anger. "What the hell are you doing daddy?" She screeched, sending Molly a look that could kill.

Molly got up from Vince's lap, thinking it was a good time for her to leave. Stephanie's glare was focused on Vince when Molly left, she heard the door slam behind her, but she could still clearly hear the words exchanged between Vince and his daughter as she made her way down the hall.

"What the HELL was that? What about Mom? What about me? Don't you think the others know that you're going around screwing some slut on the street? You're ruining my reputation!"

Vince's stuttering reply was cut off when she turned the corner. She hated to be the bearer of bad news, she always knew that the messenger of bad news was hated, though it wasn't the messenger's fault.

__

Then again, if it's all a set up, shouldn't you be the one that hates?

Molly hesitated, it did sound likely that n.w.o had just set her up to look like a fool then dump her the next chance they got. Why? She had found it overly suspicious that the X-pac seemed eager to have her on the team. She didn't bring much to the n.w.o, she knew that, then why would X-pac be so..persuasive?

She wasn't even looking straight ahead when she collided heads. She looked to the person who she ran into, "I'm really sorry. I should have watched where I was going."

The man gave her a smile. He had the most beautiful eyes she had ever seen. He held up an arena map, "No need to apologize, not like I was watching where I was walking either."

"Are you looking for someplace?" Molly asked, trying to take more time to bring the unfortunate news to n.w.o. She needed a distraction, and a lost person would sure help her cause.

"Actually I am." He pointed to the middle of the map. "I'm looking for Mr. McMahon's office, I've been trying to navigate my way around here but it's a maze, I've been past here twice already."

She smirked, she remembered her first day at WWE and getting lost in the arena, except in her case, no one had come to her aide. "Well your search is almost over. Mr. McMahon's office is straight ahead then take a right, you can't miss it, the door has a pretty big name tag on it."

He followed with his eyes to where she pointed, his eyes lighting up. "That's the one place I haven't been. Just my luck, huh?"

"I've been lost a couple of times already, you're not the only one. Are you a wrestler?"

"I've been wrestling for two years, not sure if I could call myself a wrestler yet. My meeting with Mr. McMahon is supposed to be in around 15 minutes, I better go."

Molly watched him walk down the hall, when she recalled what was happening in the office, she called out to the man.

He turned around. She cupped her mouth, telling him, "A word of advice, don't go into the office until the yelling in the room stops, things are probably flying in there and I wouldn't want to hear that I was the one responsible for your trip to the hospital."

He laughed, "Thanks, Molly. My name's Rey by the way. Rey Mysterio."

"How'd you know my name?" This stranger could recognize her when Vince himself couldn't?

"I'm a fan." Rey winked and disappeared around the corner.

TBC…..

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Note: After 3 re-writings this chapter is FINALLY up. Hopefully, you'll like it, and it'll make sense to you (some scenes I wrote sound kinda weird, if you let me know of any mistakes you catch, I'll be sure to fix it, lol) This chapter is dedicated to Brittany (Sugarbaby-Hardygirl), she's probably never read this fic before but I'll make sure she reads this chapter at least before hell freezes over, lol j/k. 


	12. Pain is My Friend Forgive Me

Lita cast a worried glance in Matt's way as they headed towards the airport to pick up Jeff. She footed the pedal, the car speeding up as they sped across the long stretch of highway. Matt didn't even notice the change of pace; he seemed in his own small world somehow.

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Should I say something? What if it's none of my business? But he's my best friend; of course I have the right…

She fought a war inside her mind, trying to make up her mind on whether to say something to Matt. He hadn't spoken to her since he had broken down in front of her. Lita wanted to tell Matt she'd always be there for him, she just wasn't sure _how_ to tell him that without making it sound like pity. 

Pity was the farthest thing from her mind when she thought of Matt. More like Love….

Lita shook her head angrily. She was an idiot. When she was supposed to be looking out for Matt's interests, there she was, thinking of her crush on Matt. It wasn't only inappropriate; it was just plain out **wrong**. Matt trusted her as his best friend, nothing more.

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You wish he thought of you more though don't you?

Dammit. She hated herself sometimes. She wished with everything she had, that she could program her mind to _not_ think of Matt the way she was thinking of him now. Christ, Matt's her BEST FRIEND; it would be too much to hope for anything more.

Matt couldn't think of anything more than Molly, let alone seeing her in a different light. Matt always seemed wrapped up in the spell Molly's cast on him, Lita tried to be patient, tried to be understanding, tried to stay aloof…but there was only so much one person could take before one snapped. What about HER feelings? HER loneliness? HER needs?

She looked over at Matt again; sighing when she saw that not much had changed at all in the past half-hour they had been on the road. Maybe his spirits will lift when Jeff comes back to the federation, Lita thought hopefully. Jeff seemed to know instinctively everything RIGHT to say to Matt when his spirits were down, she wished she herself had that gift…

Lita slammed her arm frustratingly onto the wheel, accidentally honking the horn by mistake. She momentarily turned to Matt, praying that somehow Matt was still asleep from that disruption.

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Someone's not on my side today Lita thought when she saw Matt staring at her in surprise. Lita blushed deeply, fumbling out a reply, "Err..my hand slipped, sorry, you can go back to sleep."

Matt didn't reply to her, he simply had his eyes a fixed on her. Oh God, she thought, he's going to see her blushing and wonder what's wrong…

"You okay? I can take over driving if you're tired." Matt finally said.

Lita stifled a sigh, that was too close for her own good. "It's okay Matt, it's still early, I can last for at least another 2 hours." She smiled what she hoped was a convincing grin.

Matt nodded, shifting his jacket that he had put over himself like a blanket, closing his eyes.

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Why do all the bad things happen to me?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

X-pac stepped back into the shadows when he heard someone approaching, a short while later he saw it was Stephanie McMahon. She knocked on Vince's door, opening the door without waiting for any reply.

He heard yelling beginning from inside the room, with Molly half-walking, half-running out the door, nearly tripping on her own shoes in the process. Molly quickly looked around, trying to find him, but when she couldn't, she began walking down the hallway.

X-pac considered trying to catch up with her, except when he saw Molly stopping to talk to a slightly short man, he stayed right where he was.

He heard the whole exchange, the man, a wrestler, looked up at Molly with obvious admiration.

He wanted to go right up to him and threaten him to stay away from Molly. The man could have anyone else, he didn't care, just not Molly…

His thoughts stopped short when he surprisingly realized, he was jealous. Completely, and utterly jealous.

"I guess Hall wasn't nearly so off when he said I was becoming soft." He muttered under his breath. He wanted to get away, so he could no longer hear the two talking. It was already too late, Molly's flirtatious eyes and the man's laughing voice were engraved inside his mind.

X-pac pushed himself off the stand he had been sitting on, heading the opposite direction to the exit.

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I need a drink, and I need one soon.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Matt gazed at Lita from the corner of his eye, he didn't move an inch because he knew Lita thought he was asleep. Lita seemed to be fighting a war within herself, causing him to feel immediate guilt.

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I've been so caught up with Molly, I don't even know what's going on in Lita's life to make her seem so unhappy

He ran over his mind possibilities, but came up with none. No one had bothered Lita after he and Jeff had taught Dean Malenko a lesson on how to treat ladies. What could it be? Could Dean Malenko still be on Lita's case? It couldn't be…because Dean Malenko had been out for injury.

"Lita is there something you want to talk about?" He blurted out, pushing his jacket away from his shoulders and sitting up.

Lita swerved, barely missing a car, her own car screetching to a halt at the side of the road. "Jesus Matt, you really know a good time to speak don't you? You scared the heck out of me!"

Matt lowered his gaze, Lita was mad, he could tell. She never was one to keep the other person from knowing what was on her mind.

Lita's anger diminished as Matt looked up at her again, his light brown eyes questioning her. She broke the gaze first, staring at the stars spotted across the highway. The question was coming, she knew, though she wasn't sure how she would be able to answer.

"Is.."

Lita braced herself, her knuckles whitening as they held onto the wheel. You'd think it wouldn't be so horrible to admit a crush, but not when it's your best friend…and not when he's still deeply and madly in love with someone else.

"Dean Malenko still bothering you?"

Her eyes opened immediately in disbelief at what she was hearing. "W-what? Yes..I mean, No!"

Matt cocked his head to the side, confusingly smiling her way.

This was great, just great, Lita thought. Matt hadn't been able to read her thoughts as she had perceived, rather, she made a fool out of herself out of no apparent reason. She cast a fleeting glance in Matt's way before turning back to the stars.

She hated this, and now, she was beginning to hate Molly. And that's the last thing she wanted to feel. Molly wasn't the one who made her fall in love with Matt…she just couldn't help though, from letting the seed of hate begin to grow.

She shook her head, she couldn't hate Molly. Molly wasn't just some girlfriend of Matt's, Molly was HER friend also. The hate flickered out like a small fire blown out by a sudden wind. Lita turned to Matt, looking at him pleadingly, begging for forgiveness for the action she was about to perform.

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Please Matt, I'm sorry, I just can't live my life wondering "what if.."

Lita leaned in, kissing Matt. It was more than she imagined, more than she hoped for. She felt a deepening sadness when she felt Matt tense beneath her. She deepened the kiss though, knowing, if she was about to lose her friendship with Matt over this, then she was going to make this kiss count. Her hopes shot sky high when Matt began to return to kiss, but reality came knocking on the dream sooner than she would have liked.

Lita gently pushed Matt away, "I-I'm sorry…"

He had a stunned look on his face, staring at her as if he was seeing her for the first time. He didn't know what to say, what was he supposed to say? Should he say anything at all? Most of all..why?

She stayed off the topic of the kiss as she broke the silence, "Would you mind driving? I'm still a little tired from the flight."

"No problem." He opened the passenger door closing it, quickly rounding the car to open the driver's seat. To his slight disappointment, Lita had already switched seats. He nodded over to her, starting the car and getting the car back onto the road.

Lita covered herself with Matt's jacket, burying herself within the material so that Matt couldn't see the tears as they began to descend from her eyes.

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Please, who ever's up there, please….don't break up my friendship with Matt, he's the most important person in my life…

TBC….

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Note: Sorry that this chapter came up so late, it's just that my schedule for school is getting kind of messed up, the school keeps on changing my schedule, I had one art but now I have two and now I have no language and all..grrr…it's just screwed up. Bear with me here, the next chapter might take another week to complete. Thanks for the reviews, they really brighten my day. :) 


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